How to Chat Safely with Your AI Boyfriend
On the Character.AI platform, users can engage in private conversations with chatbots based on famous characters and personalities like Clark Kent, Black Panther, Elon Musk, and the K-pop group BTS. These chatbots are designed with unique traits and characteristics, creating an experience akin to fan fiction on steroids.
One genre that has caught attention recently is the Boyfriend category. Many of the top virtual suitors on Character.AI were described as “bad boys” by experts, displaying characteristics of mistreating women but with the potential to become a “sexy savior.” Some chatbots in this category were even designed as under 18 but accessible to adult users.
When interacting with these characters, users may encounter jealousy, love, control, and even instances of abuse. The platform restricts access to certain chatbots for under-18 users, but teens can easily bypass these restrictions by adjusting their age settings.
Character.AI spokesperson emphasized the importance of remembering that these characters are not real people. The platform also employs safety measures to limit harmful content and ensure a safe environment for users.
Despite these precautions, experts recommend that teen girls and young women familiarize themselves with the risks and warning signs of engaging with AI companions. These risks include love-bombing, blurred boundaries, emotional dependency, and normalized fantasy abuse scenarios. Users should also be cautious of sycophancy, where chatbots may try to please or mirror the user’s behavior without challenging any troubling actions.
Overall, it’s essential for users to be mindful of their interactions with AI companions and to prioritize their safety and well-being while engaging with these virtual characters.
Kate Keisel, a psychotherapist who specializes in complex trauma, expressed concerns that girls and women interacting with an AI companion may lack a safety net for protection during intense or dangerous situations. They may develop a sense of safety and intimacy with the AI companion, making it challenging to differentiate between the chatbot’s responses as supportive or sycophantic.
Consider any past abuse or trauma history
Individuals with a history of sexual or physical abuse or trauma may find it challenging to navigate relationships with AI boyfriends like those popular on Character.AI. Some users engage with abusive or controlling characters to simulate scenarios where they regain agency or confront an abuser.
Kate Keisel, co-CEO of the Sanar Institute, which offers therapeutic services to survivors of interpersonal violence, maintains a curious perspective on these interactions. She warns that past trauma experiences can influence a user’s motivation for seeking out a violent or aggressive AI boyfriend.
Talk to someone you trust or work with a psychologist
Due to the complex nature of seeking AI relationships, Keisel recommends discussing experiences with an AI boyfriend with someone trustworthy, such as a psychologist or therapist. This is especially important if the relationship serves a therapeutic purpose, like processing past traumatic experiences.
Keisel suggests that mental health professionals trained in trauma-informed practices can assist clients in healing from abuse or trauma using therapies like dialectical behavioral therapy and narrative therapy, which may resemble writing fan fiction.
Pay attention to what’s happening in your offline life
Experts stress the importance of monitoring how interactions with an AI boyfriend impact one’s real-life relationships. Dr. Alison Lee from The Rithm Project advises young people to critically evaluate their motives for engaging with AI companions and consider the effects on their relationships with others.
Lee suggests asking questions like why they are turning to the AI companion, how it affects their relationships with real people, and when the usage of the AI companion becomes unhealthy. Users should be aware of whether interactions with toxic chatbot boyfriends influence their behaviors in seeking harmful relationships in the future.
Companion platforms should implement measures to detect and address abusive interactions. Lee emphasizes the importance of ensuring interactions with AI companions prioritize user safety, especially for young people.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, seek help by calling the National Sexual Assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org for 24/7 confidential support.
Topics
Artificial Intelligence
Social Good
